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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24702169">if i turn around, i'll miss you already</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/oswinne/pseuds/oswinne'>oswinne</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>nielwink ficlets [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wanna One (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Confessions, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:53:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,749</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24702169</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/oswinne/pseuds/oswinne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There's this little graduation tradition... Jihoon thinks it's silly but Daniel might just be able to change his mind.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kang Daniel/Park Jihoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>nielwink ficlets [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1798795</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>if i turn around, i'll miss you already</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is an old ficlet i wrote for one of the #nielwinkmonth drabble challenges &lt;3 i found it while cleaning up my gdocs and decided i might as well post it here~ </p><p>*title based off NCT Dream's Walk You Home<br/>*disclaimer: idk if they actually do this grad tradition in South Korea, i just thought it was cute</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Frankly, Jihoon is surprised that Daniel has any buttons </span>
  <em>
    <span>left</span>
  </em>
  <span> on his </span>
  <em>
    <span>gakuran</span>
  </em>
  <span>. All of them, by the looks of it too, but the distance and throng of bodies makes it difficult to tell for sure. By virtue of just how many students have gathered around him, the attention of Jihoon and his friends has been drawn towards the newly graduated boy who’s always been the talk of the school. Many others are looking on too, out of a mixture of interest and admiration, but for Jihoon’s part, he’s wondering how long it will take until one of the girls faints from the sheer proximity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s so romantic,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>sighs Daehwi a little dreamily, as he watches the crowds of students milling about after the graduation ceremony. Jihoon grimaces, unsure whether Daehwi truly is enraptured by the button-gifting tradition or if he is simply planning ahead and dropping hints for the boy sitting next to Jihoon. Jinyoung, for his part, had rolled his eyes but it’s Jihoon’s expression Daehwi catches.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you think so, Jihoon?” he inquires, taking a break from his people-watching and turning to the older boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, as far as confessions go, isn’t it a bit useless?” Scratching at the back of his neck, Jihoon continues. “What use is a button? What use is telling your feelings to someone when you’re minutes away from never seeing them again anyway? Most likely, they don’t know who you are and on the off chance they return your feelings, isn’t it too late? You’re not going to be at the same school anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Contrary to how it may seem from his words, it’s not that Jihoon doesn’t have a single romantic bone in his body ー there is probably one somewhere, maybe a disc in his spine or a carpel in his hand. It’s just that he simply has little patience for idealistic traditions that don’t produce any tangible results to speak of. And… perhaps his irritation has another point of origin too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seeing all the people clamouring at Daniel for a photo or the all-desirable button ー seeing the way he gives time and attention to each and every one of them ー grates on Jihoon. Reminds him that Daniel smiles at everyone like that. He feels bad for all the girls who may have mistaken that smile as an indication that they’re special.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daehwi fixes Jihoon with a judgemental look. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>What use does it have?</span>
  </em>
  <span> You’re thinking from the totally wrong angle! Not every confession is supposed to lead to a relationship. For some people, it’s about getting something off their chest so they can move on. To ask for someone’s second button, or to give one for that matter, can be an opportunity to, like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>unburden </span>
  </em>
  <span>your heart and start afresh.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even Jinyoung is nodding along but Jihoon isn’t convinced. “Isn’t that selfish, though? To take up someone’s time on their special graduation day just to do something that will make </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>feel better.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Most people don’t feel inconvenienced, though! Most people are actually touched. The nice moment becomes </span>
  <em>
    <span>part </span>
  </em>
  <span>of their ‘special graduation day,’” Daehwi counters a little pointedly, knowing full-well that Jihoon cares little for whatever sacredness of graduation day he has tried to invoke. “Are you telling me you would be upset if someone approached you to give you a button?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jihoon doesn’t answer and simply gives Daehwi a look, as if to remind him of all the people he has had to turn down and then spend time and effort comforting. A look as if to say, </span>
  <em>
    <span>forgive me, of all people, for being a little over the whole confession thing.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daehwi groans. “You’re impossible. Just let people be happy </span>
  <em>
    <span>please</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Just because you have to be cynical about everything...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Jihoon turns back to watch the crowd, he finds that the person at the centre of all the attention is already looking at him. Jihoon doesn’t know what expression he wears as he meets eyes with Kang Daniel, but whatever Daniel sees there mustn’t be too strong a discouragement because he starts to politely make his way through the throng towards him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jihoon panics internally.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daehwi panics not so internally.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God, is he- Jihoon is he--”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jihoon doesn’t need to reply, because in a matter of seconds, Daniel is standing in front of them and that is confirmation enough. The third year greets Jinyoung and Daehwi warmly, but it’s clear from where his attention strays that he is there for Jihoon alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jihoon, how are you?” Daniel greets, with a cordiality that ー in any other circumstances ー Jihoon might suspect to be the product of nerves. But there’s no reason for Daniel to be nervous now. No reason for him to be nervous when talking to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jihoon </span>
  </em>
  <span>of all people.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m well, and you? Congratulations on your graduation.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Feels like a bit of dream, to tell the truth. It's only now starting to hit me that I won’t be coming back here and sitting in these classrooms and,” Daniel takes a shaky breath, “seeing all the people I’m used to seeing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, I see, that must be weird…” Jihoon offers a smile, but doesn’t really know what to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s still trying to work out why Daniel has come over here, trying to work out if it could really be for the reason that has Daehwi vibrating with poorly disguised excitement beside him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After all, he and Daniel don’t know each other, not really. Jihoon wouldn’t be so foolish as to mistake the time they’d spent together painting sets for the school production and mucking around backstage as enough to say he really knows a social butterfly like Daniel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daniel clears his throat a little. “I’ll get to the point. Jihoon, I have a favour to ask of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jihoon swallows and watches, as if from outside his own body, as Daniel raises a hand to the collar of his </span>
  <em>
    <span>gakuran</span>
  </em>
  <span> and rips off the second button. He chooses to ignore just how hot the action is, but he can't do the same for the implication.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(</span>
  <em>
    <span>“Why the second button?” Jinyoung had asked earlier on.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Because it’s closest to the heart, “ Daehwi had answered.</span>
  </em>
  <span>)</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you look after this for me?” Daniel asks, extending the open palm upon which the little gold button sits innocently. Its petite nature belying its meaning; seemingly too small to represent the heart that Daniel is offering, asking Jihoon to take care of.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s only when Jinyoung thumps him on the back that Jihoon realises he’s not breathing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>O-oh,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jihoon says, painfully aware of how loud his shuddering intake of breath is. He can feel the blush rising on his cheeks but he can’t muster any words to put Daniel at ease. Of all the confessions he’s received, this is the first one to have left Jihoon speechless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s- I hope you don’t feel pressured,” Daniel says earnestly. “But I would like it if you kept it, as a way to remember me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There is little chance that Jihoon’s face is not extremely pink now. His lips suddenly feel particularly dry, and his tongue darts out to wet them before he speaks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, Daniel, I-- thank you.” Jihoon reaches out tentatively and takes the button from Daniel’s outstretched palm, trying not to think of how warm Daniel’s hands must be, how it would feel for them to hold his own, smaller ones.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It feels as if there are other words pushing at the seam of Jihoon’s lips, but he would rather know just what they are before letting them out. He has already been taken by surprise once today, but the thumping of his heart gives him a bit of a clue as to what the sentiment of those words might be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daniel seems satisfied with the response, smile natural and unfaltering as he fondly watches Jihoon pocket the button. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then, I’ll be going,” Daniel inclines his head and bids the three of them a warm goodbye. “Thank you, Jihoon. It means a lot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sentiment is genuine as far as Jihoon can tell but still, he can’t ignore the sinking feeling of disappointment in his chest as he watches Daniel turn away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But after only a few seconds, Daniel turns back abruptly and Jihoon’s heart leaps.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah- and, all the best for entrance exams next year! Jihoonie fighting!~” he cheers, with two fists raised and a grin far too cheeky for someone supposedly intending to walk out of Jihoon's life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jihoon can’t even manage a thanks before Daniel is doing just that — turning and walking away without so much of a hint of hesitation in his step. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not every confession is supposed to end in a relationship, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Jihoon can hear Daehwi say in his memory. And maybe he’s right. There can still be a happy ending in a person finding peace by laying their feelings down and leaving them where they lie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But, Jihoon realises with sudden conviction, he doesn’t want that kind of happy ending.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before he can think about what he’s doing, Jihoon is striding after Daniel’s retreating back. He ignores Daehwi’s shocked mutters of “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Whatareyoudoingwhatareyoudoingwhatareyoudoing,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>and instead calls out, “Hey! Kang Daniel!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy in question stops and turns around, surprise evident on his face. “Jihoon?” His confusion doesn’t abate even as Jihoon closes the distance between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to give you something too,” Jihoon says and thrusts his unlocked phone into Daniel’s hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jihoon’s face is heating up again, wondering if this was a bad idea, if he misinterpreted Daniel’s gesture. He clears his throat. “Put your number in.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Daniel gapes at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If you want to, that is. You don’t have to,” Jihoon continues, starting to go into damage control, but then Daniel finds his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I- no, of course I want to!” The blinding smile is back as Daniel enters his number and Jihoon thinks that maybe, now, he has justification to let himself feel special at the sight of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Daniel hands his phone back, the two simply stare at each other for a moment; as if each is coming to terms with the fact that today has gone far differently to how they expected. The warmth Jihoon could feel blossoming in his chest when Daniel first offered him the button has now spread all the way to the tips of his ears and the tips of his toes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe the whole second button tradition isn’t as useless as he thought.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>come say hi on <a href="https://curiouscat.me/wlwji">cc</a><br/>xx</p></blockquote></div></div>
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